Living in the moment

Man, been away too long.  Logged in and had a ton of my favorite blogs to catch up on.  Been an emotional time for me.  Just had my first baby and boy are my hormones ALL over the map.  Pretty much been a crying mess since I got home from the hospital.  Granted everything went really well, really really well.  C-sections are the bomb!  It was quick, I felt no pain (then of course:), and I was done and in recovery.  I am sore now and on all sorts of drugs, but it was worth it.  Little andrew came into this world on June 12th, 2012 weighing 6 lbs, 14 ozs and being 18 inches long.  We were all really shocked that he was so little.  I felt huge and my doctor felt like he was huge but he came out super small.  I stayed in the hospital for 3 days and got discharged early.  I was ready to get out, felt caged in.  I like walking around with andrew and that wasn't allowed outside of the room and the rooms were tiny.  I probably should have stayed one more night but I didn't.  It was super nice to have the nurses there for help and to take him to the nursery if we needed a break but my mom had to leave every night at 8 and I was missing having her around.

My mom.  What can I say, she is a god send and I will never be able to pay her back ever for all the work she has done while she has been here.  She came a couple of weeks before the due date (before we knew he was going to be a c section) and is staying for three or so weeks post delivery.   She has cooked, cleaned, laundried, and wore the dogs out for me daily.  She has let me nap when I needed to and hugged me when I cried and yes I have cried a ton.  Damn hormones are wearing me out.  Thus the name of the blog, live in the moment.  I am trying to do that right now because instead of worrying about everything and the future, I am trying to stay in the moment.  It really reminds me of agility.  We tend to get caught up in so much other things that we don't stay in the moment and cherish what is happening right then.  I start worrying about stupid stuff like when my mom is leaving and when i have to go back to work and when this and that when I need to just cherish each sleepless wonderful night with my little man.  I love late at night when it is just he and I, and he is wide awake just staring into my face.  I am doing all the night shift work as tony is going back to work and I want him to get good sleep.  Last night was a tough night, he was up every hour on the hour wanting either food or his diaper changed.  Plus, I am having to pump every couple of hours because my milk hasn't come in yet and we are trying to encourage it before we give up and go full formula.  I am a worry wort just like i am with my dogs.  Is he getting enough food, is this brand of formula right for him, is he sleeping/pooping/peeing enough?  We as new parents tend to want to hold him all the time so I worry about that.  Heck I worry about worrying sometimes.  I have been trying to call and talk to all of my mommy friends and I have found that they all went through this too and talking to them helps me to work through what i am going through.  They all say the same thing, live in the moment.