going mental

This blog is going to be quick because I need to clean the house and the van before we leave for Wichita. Barb and I are heading up for two days of agility and I am excited. Was planning on working today but didn't have much to do and a ton to do here so opted to take a day off and just get stuff done. Had class last night again FINALLY thanks to mother nature gracing us with some decent weather. I don't know what is wrong with me but I really mentally struggled with some of the exercises. I am not sure what is going on with me lately (no i am not preggers) but my mental game is really starting to corrode. I am slowly loosing confidence in myself and I am not sure why. I am having a really hard time with left and right, always have and probably always will. I am sure a big part of this is that Miller has baby sat my ass for so long and now I am actually having to handle and do it correctly but not sure. I need to really delve deep and see what is going on. I don't like feeling helpless or getting frustrated at myself. Deuce is very sensitive to this and thinks I am mad at him but i am mad at ME. Why can't i get through some things? Don't get me wrong, I love being pushed but at one point last night I just had to respectfully say I just didn't feel comfortable moving on as I didn't feel like I had successful gotten through what we had just done. I love that Lori listens to us and let me feel comfortable with what I was working on before moving on. It is nice to feel supported yet pushed at the right time. I know what we are working on is pretty hard and the chances of us seeing alot of this in the ring is slim but it does make us better handlers. I will be very interested to see how Deuce does this weekend. He is entered in three classes tomorrow and two on sunday. He had been training very well, hitting some very hard weave entries and staying in, even if I work lateral distance to get some cross or a threadle in. I am very happy with how he has trained so let's see if I can get that in the ring!!!!!