ending the day on a bad note

I hate ending the day on a bad note.  I wanted to go home after my standard run today.  It was the best run deuce and I have had in so long, other than a creepy a-frame.  Beautiful weaves, nice crosses and a pup that listened and ran the whole time full out might i add.  We had one stinky little bar coming out of the chute but i didn't even care.  We were a TEAM and I loved it!!!!  Even moved hugely lateral while he was performing the teeter to get a front cross in on the other side of the tire and he stuck his contact like a big boy.  I should have listened to my gut.  We also had a beautiful run in T2B.  I have to say, the course was very straight forward but did have a couple of tricky parts.  He missed his weaves but I think I was really in a bad position as I was trying to do a rear into the poles.  Got him back since there are no refusals in T2B and still got 7 points.  I was so proud of the way he ran, again he was running fast and furious and listening.  I LOVE that.

Back to JWW today.  I just didn't like the course at all.  I wasn't comfortable with it and felt like rears were the best option for most of it and I hate rears.  I know I need to get over it and learn to execute them properly.  You could do some fronts on the course but I felt like I would have to rush a couple of them and that rushing might send him over the off course options.  I was proud of the fact that he did get his weaves with a rear cross into them after we goofed that up in T2B.  The rest was just not good.  I won't go into gory details but he decimated the triple thanks to me yelling HERE for no good reason and he missed a couple of jumps.  He always stresses after he hits bars, which I guess is a good thing, he knows he is wrong.  I take full responsibility for the muck up though.  I wasn't comfortable with the course, my timing was off and my handling was atrocious.  I was very mad with myself as I know i can handle better than that.  Don't know why jumpers seems to be my waterloo.  It wasn't good for miller and I either so weird that I seem to have a stigma against jumpers courses.  I really need to figure out how I can train longer sequences and more often because I feel like I am super rusty on full courses.  I do feel like overall the day was pretty darn good despite only one Q to show for it.  He needs to mature, I need to stop being reactive and I need to train more.  Simple solutions but hate to end the day on that run:(